Mantra
by spero spiro
Summary: Riku had never stopped thinking of Sora, searching for Sora, doing everything for Sora, and so his name became a mantra to live by. Sora, Sora, Sora… RikuSora oneshot.


**Mantra**

**Note: I think this is where my head needs to meet the desk. It's not that I don't love that I can write again… it's just that it is as though my muses are on hyper-drive, and this is the result: three days of non-stop writing, updating, and posting… I almost hope this isn't the end, really. I'm excited about the fact that I have the capability to write again…but here is the fourth story in three days (_One Night in Nowhere_, _Miss Me_, and a new story for _Rain, Rain_ "Storms and Showers" are the other three). **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of the Kingdom Hearts franchise, those of Disney, nor those of SquareEnix. I also do not own the song "High Places" by Leahy.**

**Description: Riku had never stopped thinking of Sora, searching for Sora, doing everything for Sora, and so his name became a mantra to live by. Sora, Sora, Sora… Riku/Sora one-shot.**

"_I'm trusting in you. Yeah, I lay my life down, I lift you up, I let you go and give you up… all in high places, shining through in all things, in everything we do... When the battle's won, when the rain is pouring down, when darkness shadows the sun… and over barriers we crossed, reaching for something lost. And from this we rise to higher places. As in all things, we must go on." –Leahy, "High Places"_

Riku had never stopped thinking of Sora.

Not when they were first separated when their home was torn apart and he found himself lying in the middle of a large, cobblestone square in the Third District of Traverse Town. Not when he was attacked that first time by the Heartless, and Maleficent found him batting helplessly at them with his wooden sword. Where was his fearlessness of the darkness then?

Not when he searched for Kairi, not when he found Sora and was bewitched by Maleficent into thinking Sora had forgotten him. Not when he fought Sora time and time again… Not when he fought Xehanort's Heartless to save Sora from himself, and not in the time that followed, where he struggled to regain control.

Riku never stopped thinking of Sora, especially when he stood in DiZ's laboratory and stared up at his dear friend, silently suspended in the humming pod. He would spend hours upon hours staring at the white pod in the center of the white room and watch Sora sleep and remember everything he needed to. Those were the times he felt worst, as though there was something he should have done to keep Sora safe from losing his memories.

The memories Riku had of Sora were some of his most precious possessions, and he would rather die than surrender them. He stood before the pod for hours, then would pace around the room, waiting for more memories to be restored, knowing that they were going far too slowly. When DiZ asked him to retrieve Roxas, he agreed readily, willing to do anything for Sora. And when Roxas threw him the Keyblade and they fought, he fought with all his heart to bring him back to Sora. When he fell to the ground, defeated, he glared up at Roxas through his blindfold and screamed at him, "Why do you have the Keyblade?" And what he really meant was 'Why don't you understand why I'm trying to save him?'

Riku was willing to do anything for Sora, even give himself up to the darkness in his heart to retrieve Roxas and heal Sora of his broken memories; even stand for hours upon hours, watching his progress and pacing.

Even set his life on the line if he thought it would help or save Sora.

Even while watching Roxas in the fake Twilight Town, his thoughts centered on Sora and his progress and why was it taking so long for Naminé to finish with his memories? He paced, and DiZ laughed at him sometimes, telling him he was being silly and impatient. Riku didn't care. Riku didn't pay any mind to him, thinking only of Sora and seeing him coming out of that pod, though Sora would never see him.

It was enough, Riku decided, to see Sora happy and awake again. It would be enough to hide and watch him step out of the pod, and Roxas disappear, and him stretch out his elongated limbs, which had outgrown his old, island clothes. Riku laughed over that year, watching Sora grow more and more, and wondering how different he looked. He, too, had outgrown his clothes, and found a new set in Twilight Town. It didn't matter, anyway, because he wore the black coat day after day, and when he did, he watched Sora and thought about Sora and worried about Sora.

When Sora finally departed for a new journey, Riku watched him go from behind amber eyes that did not belong to him. He hid in shadows and followed Sora in the time between his spying on Organization XIII, helping his friend however he could. Battle after battle, he watched Sora, and worried more about him when he wasn't around him to watch over him. Riku hesitated to classify his loyalty to Sora, but if he had to…

He'd call it love.

Not just the kind that they'd had since they were young children. Not only the brotherly affection he'd always had for Sora, and not simply the friendly love he had always had. Sometime between stretching his hand out to Sora and standing in DiZ's Pod Room and thinking endlessly of Sora, Riku realized that it was so much more than what he already felt; that he would give anything to hug Sora again and talk to Sora again, and be with Sora again… but not in the way he'd been accustomed. Riku didn't understand, but he wanted something more… So he called it Love and thought nothing to question or regret what he did in the name of Loving Sora.

Maybe Roxas would forever hate him for dragging him away from the life he knew, and maybe Axel would hate him far past the next life for taking Roxas away from him. Riku had been watching Organization XIII for DiZ, and had therefore watched Axel with increasing mystification as he pleaded with Roxas not to leave, and then turned his own back on Organization XIII all in the name of Roxas. Even if Axel hated him for taking Roxas away, Riku understood him and how everything he did was forever for Roxas.

When Sora finally found Riku, he could not hide what he had become for the sake of Sora, but Sora just accepted him like Sora always did. When Riku took back his own face, he couldn't have been more relieved, until he and Sora finally went home. It would be a long time before the fight was over, but Riku didn't mind so much. He wouldn't leave Sora behind when they would finally have to go back and fight the Heartless, but he wasn't likely to leave Sora then, either.

Sora asked him to tell him his story, but he was hesitant to. He couldn't tell Sora that it had been all for him, all about him, always dedicated to him in every way: thinking of him, finding him, thinking more of him, finding him again, losing him, missing him, thinking of him, searching for him, finding him, thinking of him, watching him, worrying about him, following him, losing him, thinking of him, finding him, fighting with him, going home with him. Instead, Riku told him his side, without mentioning his thoughts and realizations about Sora.

During one, brilliant sunset, Riku sat on the beach of the play island and watched the sun sink below the waves. He'd always, always gone on, pursuing the highest high he could imagine: going home with Sora, but in the only roundabout way he knew.

_Sora, Sora, Sora…_ His mind chanted as it had for over a year. Even now, the thoughts didn't end. Even now, he was as fiercely loyal and dedicated to Sora as he had been before they'd left the islands, before he paced the Pod Room and waited for his awakening, before he sat on the beach in that moment. Sora was with him, next to him, watching the sunset with him, when the liberation came.

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately." Sora told him conversationally.

"Like?" Riku raised an eyebrow, and neither his tone nor his expression betrayed the unending mantra.

"Well, not even just lately." Sora's gaze on the sunset was unbroken. "For a long while."

Riku's eyebrows rose. "Really."

Sora turned his eyes to stare at Riku. "Yeah… Really."

_Sora, Sora, Sora…_ The mantra would never stop. "Well, are you going to tell me or not, you goof?"

A smile that reached his eyes spread across Sora's face like the sun rising. "Just been thinking about you for a long time, Riku. I couldn't stop for a long time. I'm not sure if I did when I was in that pod, but I know I did before I ended up in there, and after I got out. It was like…" He paused and looked back out to the sea, as though he were just then trying to make heads or tails of his thoughts.

"It was like this unending chant… Like I had to find you, no matter what, and I had to save you, no matter what, and I had to stay with you. Just… Riku, Riku, Riku, all the time, day and night." Sora laughed. "Weird, huh?"

"Not really…" Riku told him, his breath catching in his throat, though he never betrayed it. Sora's hand was laid on the sand, and he laid his own over it. They stared out at the sunset together in silence for a short moment.

"It was a lot like… like..." Sora still seemed to be searching for the right words that Riku had found long before.

"Love." Riku supplied, not breaking his contact with Sora, nor his gaze on the bright sky.

"Yeah," Sora murmured, a smile in his voice. "Just like love."

**End**


End file.
